Our Haul

Bloody Mary and I are home, holding down the fort. The boy was last seen chasing a horde guns a blazing! We made a pretty good haul, finding this treasure in a vampire den. I'd love to share more, but we have to buckle down the house for the evening!!

Hopefully the light of tomorrow will give us the chance.

Our first nest

We've found a whole mess of monsters in this home. We are about to bomb and run!

First vampire done.

This was moments before Bloody Mary took his head off. The wine had dulled his readiness.

The boy gets his first zombie

He tried to play friend. But Sam knew. Karate Kid no more

First stop

Our 1st stop of the night. Just random harmless ghoulies.  And yelling children.

It is time to kill some monsters!

Alright, we'll try to give updates from the road. But who knows. Pray for us. Although I'm not sure what kind of god brought this kind of night to us!

The boy

The boy is almost done with his lantern.



He's not much for conversation or listening, so he went mouthless this year.



Our lanterns are ready to protect the home, so we're almost ready to head out!



Again, the boy is not much for talking. He prefers to let his hot iron do the speaking ... actually, he prefers to shoot the heads off zombies, plain and simple.

Bloody Mary is ready

As many of you are aware, Bloody Mary took on quite a fight with the vampires recently.  She kicked ass ... I mean total ass.  You can't smell a vampire within 500 yards of our home.  It left her with a Bravescar.



This year she is nastier than ever. I noticed she wasn't carving her pumpkin. Not only that, she was making a happy one! This would probably attract monsters rather than scare them away!

She said, "BRING IT!"



It's not going to be a good year for the monsters...

Our lanterns

We are preparing our Jack O' Lanterns now. These seemed like a fun crafty hobby for this special holiday at first. Until the Halloween First Strike.  That first Halloween all the homes without scary lanterns were destroyed (granted, so were 2 out of every three homes with the scary lanterns, but still.)

The scary lanterns seem to have some subconscious impact on the zombies ... some sort of "bad place for monsters" vibe.  This was when we first learned that zombies do indeed have a subconscious ... and nothing else but brain hunger.   So, we make these darn things every year.  (As we've documented excruciatingly!)   Above is mine, while the boy works on his.

Everyone's getting ready!

While prepping for our evening, we saw this gal getting ready for her own night of death.

Dixie and the sword

We've always trusted Dixie with watching over our best sword, z-slayer. Cats are the ultimate predators; we hope somehow the silence in movement and pouncing ferocity & speed soak into the blade. 

Again, given our recent success - we must be doing something right.

Getting prepped

Well, tonight is the night. Every night is hell around here, but for some reason freakin' Halloween always hits us hard.  For the past 7 years, our high kill night has always been October 31st.  We expect it to be the same this year.  Bloody Mary and the boy are grabbing some shut-eye before the madness starts.  I'll keep preparing. F-that. Rest when this is over.  But I'm glad they can sleep, hopefully they don't remember their peaceful dreams.  I hate that.

My specialty...

So as I mentioned, the name Whiskey and Smokes comes from my specialty.  I used to be like everyone else and look to take the monsters out one by one (like Bloody Mary and the boy).  Mass termination wasn't effective because of the damage to innocents, especially with cocktails like mine.  The typical Molotov cocktail just turned the horde of zombies into a horde of flaming zombies.

However, I brew a special cocktail that results in immediate monster implosion, so there are no messy bits running around.  Here's the recipe.

3 parts gasoline
2 parts Atchafalaya swamp mud
2 parts Jack Daniel's
1 part 50/50 Pacific Ocean/Chicago river water (pre-blended)
A dash of Tabasco

Good luck & May the undead, not remain so.

The boy's piece

The boy's shooting has improved quite a bit lately.  He's in the midst of a 1,436 consecutive made headshots.  While he could take Chili Brown's California record of 2,311 before the year is out, he's still set on Lefty Sullen's national record. We'll see.

The story of Whiskey & Smokes

So, I'm called Whiskey and Smokes because of my special way of getting rid of the hordes of monsters we have here now. Here is the future by the way.

You see it turns out that 2012 went fine. But 2015, THAT year was a bitch!

Aliens? Yep, with big lasers on forcefielded flying saucers.
Zombies? helluva lot. And they just keep coming.
Vampires? oh yeah, and guess what ... they brought dinosaurs with them.

Postapocalyptic artist Travis76 has an incredible print capturing the moment:

I wear this shirt as a reminder, not that I need it.  But it reminds me of when we were capturing the events, when we thought it was horrific but remarkable.  Now, it is just horrific daily living. 

Anyway, the family is still around.

My wife, Bloody Mary and her assortment of blades.  Being the egomaniac she is, she still wears the depiction of her on Super-Splatter Sunday captured by kooky love.

And then the boy is still kickin'. Shotgun Sam.  Damn, that kid loves to kill the zombies.  He won't go to bed at night until his daily count is at least in double figures. He's still wearing that masterpiece jublin made for him:

And does he!

Anyway, we'll try to keep you abreast of the events...

Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to outgrow small ones.
Theodore Roosevelt



Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit softly.
Theodore Roosevelt



The only man who makes no mistakes is the man who never does anything.
Theodore Roosevelt